I was just looking at my blog and realized that August was the last time I had written anything! Oh, the price of success. On September 1, I accepted a full-time job that I believed would present many wonderful opportunities. And it has. But I'm still adjusting to working the 8 to 5 kind of schedule. This is the first time in my working life, I've had this structured of a schedule. Previous to this, I had the same job (minus some of the cool opportunities) and had much more flexibility about my hours. I liked that!
Last night my husband asked me whether I felt this was a career or just a job. I think it's a little of both. Working in my field has allowed me to find and develop my particular gifts. My work allows me to be of real value in the world. I do believe all people have value whatever they do. I just can't help enjoying the feeling though, that I have made a difference. Every day I get to encourage people as they go towards some dream or goal. I get to practice kindness on a daily basis. I get to learn about myself as I deal with co-workers.
There are days that I wish I was not working, that I didn't have to go in, that I had more vacation. Okay, pretty much every day is like that. Yet, at the same time, every day has such gifts that I don't know how else I would have gotten them otherwise. I've met students and other people that I am so grateful to know.
Along with settling into this job has been settling into Texas. After three years, I can look at this experience and think it's been a good one. I have made what I am beginning to think, might be the best friends of my life. I see my children doing well. Both my husband and I have great jobs. Even our pets are happy here. At the same time, I have this underlying grief for the people and places that I've left. And I don't actually like this as a place to live. Despite an abundance of blessings, that I do count, I feel an unhappiness that exists along with my happiness.
