Success

I was just looking at my blog and realized that August was the last time I had written anything! Oh, the price of success. On September 1, I accepted a full-time job that I believed would present many wonderful opportunities. And it has. But I'm still adjusting to working the 8 to 5 kind of schedule. This is the first time in my working life, I've had this structured of a schedule. Previous to this, I had the same job (minus some of the cool opportunities) and had much more flexibility about my hours. I liked that!

Last night my husband asked me whether I felt this was a career or just a job. I think it's a little of both. Working in my field has allowed me to find and develop my particular gifts. My work allows me to be of real value in the world. I do believe all people have value whatever they do. I just can't help enjoying the feeling though, that I have made a difference. Every day I get to encourage people as they go towards some dream or goal. I get to practice kindness on a daily basis. I get to learn about myself as I deal with co-workers.

There are days that I wish I was not working, that I didn't have to go in, that I had more vacation. Okay, pretty much every day is like that. Yet, at the same time, every day has such gifts that I don't know how else I would have gotten them otherwise. I've met students and other people that I am so grateful to know.

Along with settling into this job has been settling into Texas. After three years, I can look at this experience and think it's been a good one. I have made what I am beginning to think, might be the best friends of my life. I see my children doing well. Both my husband and I have great jobs. Even our pets are happy here. At the same time, I have this underlying grief for the people and places that I've left. And I don't actually like this as a place to live. Despite an abundance of blessings, that I do count, I feel an unhappiness that exists along with my happiness.

S

Comments

[HP van Duuren]

Yes I know exactly what you mean, I think that feelings of unhappiness and happiness have to do with what you think.

It also might have to do with the amount of freedom you experience at times.

On the one hand your job gives a certain amount of freedom and enjoyment because it can create exciting possibitities and opportunities. You can also have a social band with collegues or clients or have feelings of accomplishment and being able to feel good about helping people.
All depending on what you think about these things.

It goes without saying that it also can earn you more money that can buy you a certain amount of freedom for example to go on a more luxurious vacation or something like that. On the other hand at times it also can feel as 'unfree' having to work more hours.

I for example some time ago made the descision - with the fear of going to earn a lot less - to work a lot less hours in my job.

It was scary for me because that would mean less money and an unfree feeling of maybe not being able to go on luxurious vacations:)

Strangely enough - I think because the quality of the (lesser) time that I worked got me to better focus my energy - I slightly improved and got better results and at the same time because of an improved bonus system on the project I worked on I actually begun to earn a little more while working less hours!

A very welcome and surprising side effect!!

That got me the feedom to have more time to do whatever I like, during summer having the freedom to go for example to the beach etc. etc. and work not "IN" but - "ON" my own 'Online Business'. Being able to make a lot of improvements ON my weblog and webstore.

(for example now
on my blog you
can even have
'Previews'
of exciting
'Movie Trailors!!!')

Although during last summer I felt like a real 'Entrepreneur' feeling free and successful...,

At the moment in my job I seem to be back to 'square one', working on other projects with less bonus, earning less.

So now a welcome surprise would be that I get a surprising increase in visitors to my site launching me into 'Instant Financial Freedom'.

(BTW I actually bought an interesting product about 'Financial Freedom', that I use as an inspiration while working on my 'Online Activities' a product that I am enthousiastic about and that I promote on my blog.)

So feel free to tell all your friends about my improved weblog, or maybe you could ask Ophra to wear a T-shirt with my url? :)

All the Best,
HP